So frustrated...

[Pink Lindsey]

Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey

[Troyfalls]

Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey

Hello Lindsey 

Reading your story ,  I can say for myself that know exactly how you feel.  I had a small femme clothes and just like you were saying, I ended donating or just plain throwing them out. After a while the desire and urge came back, in so did my clothing came back as well. Like a ghost from the past  but for me it wasn't too distant.

[CanuckGirl]

Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey

Lindsey;
  I can relate to a lot of what you have gone through, though for some reason I haven't found myself going through the binge and purge kind of cycles so many others have. However, that doesn't mean I haven't struggled with guilt and shame, and repressed this for so much of my life.
 As so many others I started 12 or so, and soon I will be 70! It was only the last very years that I've become comfortable with my dual gender nature, as I still don't feel like I want to be a woman full time, ie, to transition.
 It is so wonderful to fully dress up, and like you I was almost overwhelmed with emotion. In my case I was able to connect with other CDs and some TG's in my area who gave me support and I finally am able to accept myself, but it has been a long road!
 Chat with me anytime.
 Amy

[Candice]

Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey

Lindsey;
  I can relate to a lot of what you have gone through, though for some reason I haven't found myself going through the binge and purge kind of cycles so many others have. However, that doesn't mean I haven't struggled with guilt and shame, and repressed this for so much of my life.
 As so many others I started 12 or so, and soon I will be 70! It was only the last very years that I've become comfortable with my dual gender nature, as I still don't feel like I want to be a woman full time, ie, to transition.
 It is so wonderful to fully dress up, and like you I was almost overwhelmed with emotion. In my case I was able to connect with other CDs and some TG's in my area who gave me support and I finally am able to accept myself, but it has been a long road!
 Chat with me anytime.
 Amy

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Hey Yeah Lindsey right there with you.I guess its probably the same for alot of Us.Until I started reading this forum and what you Gurls go through is the same for me its like your telling my story.

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Hey Yeah Lindsey right there with you.I guess its probably the same for alot of Us.Until I started reading this forum and what you Gurls go through is the same for me its like your telling my story.

[Heather Smith]

Lindsey - I guess I would say you are lucky on many fronts - first off - sounds like you could be very passable. If that were the case with myself......I think I would go out dressed way more often. I haven't accepted myself that way yet. But, I do love to dress fully! All the way is the best. I have even had a couple makeovers.......which ... when the makeup is applied correctly helps a lot.

and it doesn't sound like you have a significant other at this point......which can really make it more complicated.

I wish you the best with this! I truly do! I love it!

Heather in Minneapolis! Chilly Minneapolis today!